An honest answer is like a kiss of friendship. Proverbs 24:26
Like everyone else I grew up struggling with honesty over the smallest issues. I told the truth, but would exaggerate sometimes. It started with lies to my grandma about who left the tap running all night long, then where I was going on a Friday night as a teen. I would fudge the truth with friends on how well I did at hurdles and I’d lie to teachers when asked if I’d read the assignment they had given.
After I became an adult, honest answers weren’t consistent with my growing up. I’d lie to people I didn’t want to do dinner with and tell them I was busy. I’d tell people I didn’t get didn’t get any message from them about me having to call them back.
My wife wasn’t spared from my stretching of the truth. She would insist I brush my teeth before I slept and on days that I was too lazy to brush my teeth, I would just lie to her that I did. If she was to press me further, I would appear angry that she is questioning my integrity. Often I would overlook our calendar and forget to tell her we had a dinner and then blame it in on her that she was the one who forgot so that I didn’t have to take any responsibility.
Looking back, I was so stupid. Every lie I told was taking away from my life. It was reducing me. Yet, I rationalized my lies with “They aren’t really hurting anyone. No one will ever find out. They’re just exaggerations.” How wrong I was. The person I was hurting most was me. I was the one who was losing with every lie.
No one ever sets out to become a liar. No one ever sets out to not be trustworthy. No one ever dreams of having people question what they say because you have exaggerated so much.
I love how the Message translation puts this verse: “An honest answer is like a warm hug.” Truth is inviting. Truth builds up. Truth is the foundation of relationship. Truth is the belt that holds up the rest of the armour of God. In that sense, truth protects. It adds to life. It holds up the ‘much more’ life.
I thank the Lord for putting painful checks in my spirit over the years to be truthful. It has not been an easy journey but it has been so very rewarding. I love it now when I speak and people feel the warmth of truth. I love the deep lasting friendships I have built because there is mutual truthfulness.
But I still need so much more grace because it is easier to lie; it appears sometimes more attractive to lie. But I desire the kiss of friendship more than the kiss of the enemy. At least now I go to sleep with a happy wife who knows that I am telling the truth about brushing my teeth!
Senior Pastor
Like everyone else I grew up struggling with honesty over the smallest issues. I told the truth, but would exaggerate sometimes. It started with lies to my grandma about who left the tap running all night long, then where I was going on a Friday night as a teen. I would fudge the truth with friends on how well I did at hurdles and I’d lie to teachers when asked if I’d read the assignment they had given.
After I became an adult, honest answers weren’t consistent with my growing up. I’d lie to people I didn’t want to do dinner with and tell them I was busy. I’d tell people I didn’t get didn’t get any message from them about me having to call them back.
My wife wasn’t spared from my stretching of the truth. She would insist I brush my teeth before I slept and on days that I was too lazy to brush my teeth, I would just lie to her that I did. If she was to press me further, I would appear angry that she is questioning my integrity. Often I would overlook our calendar and forget to tell her we had a dinner and then blame it in on her that she was the one who forgot so that I didn’t have to take any responsibility.
Looking back, I was so stupid. Every lie I told was taking away from my life. It was reducing me. Yet, I rationalized my lies with “They aren’t really hurting anyone. No one will ever find out. They’re just exaggerations.” How wrong I was. The person I was hurting most was me. I was the one who was losing with every lie.
No one ever sets out to become a liar. No one ever sets out to not be trustworthy. No one ever dreams of having people question what they say because you have exaggerated so much.
I love how the Message translation puts this verse: “An honest answer is like a warm hug.” Truth is inviting. Truth builds up. Truth is the foundation of relationship. Truth is the belt that holds up the rest of the armour of God. In that sense, truth protects. It adds to life. It holds up the ‘much more’ life.
I thank the Lord for putting painful checks in my spirit over the years to be truthful. It has not been an easy journey but it has been so very rewarding. I love it now when I speak and people feel the warmth of truth. I love the deep lasting friendships I have built because there is mutual truthfulness.
But I still need so much more grace because it is easier to lie; it appears sometimes more attractive to lie. But I desire the kiss of friendship more than the kiss of the enemy. At least now I go to sleep with a happy wife who knows that I am telling the truth about brushing my teeth!
Senior Pastor
